life

so its like this i am 24 years old i have a beautiful daughter that is two soon to be three. i was in prison for two years for driving a get away car for a robbery(yeah stupid i know). i missed two years of my daughters life she was six months old when i went to prison. i seen her take her first steps behind a piece of glass over two inch's thick and heard her say her first words over the phone. Talk about your heart being ripped out,but i was in a bad place i was addicted to alot of junk i was what they call a garbage can i would do anything that was around just so i wouldn't have to deal with the world around me, and by the time my daughter had come i was to far gone. The sad thing is all i ever wanted was to have a family one that wasn't like mine I wanted a woman that would always be there for me and our family. I thought i had found that in the girl i was dating at the time and later on had my little girl to, but boy was i wrong. it was like as soon as she found out she was she changed into someone i didn't even know, and we had been dating for four years and then what she wanted changed she no longer wanted what i wanted but changed into what she wanted we wanted a family from the start and then she decides she doesn't want that anymore she starts to cheat on me and like a dumb ass i didn't want to be leave it but she did and man did it hurt so i started doing drugs again to escape the pain(which by the way is the pussy's way out) instead of dealing dealing with it and moving on i just sunk deeper and deeper into my own mind. I started hating my self and all those that had what i wanted. but the story really doesn't start here it starts when i was much much younger, when i lived at home still living with my parents.
This is how it all really started i grew up in a less the mid class family but we wasn't poor there was always food on the table and clothes on our backs. I have one sister that is seven years older then me and i love her to death. my dad worked all the time early mornings and late nights and my mother well what can i say about her. i love her to death to she is my mom after all but she had problems, it was like nothing we ever did was good enough. she always wanted more more more when i think about it now she was more like a sister to me then a mom my sister took care of me alot when i was growing up along with my aunt. i don't really remember that much from my childhood but the fight my parents would have and my mom kicking us all out, we would go to my aunts alot but my dad he would always sleep in his truck, pride i guess. but my dad would never hit my mom what my mom did to him and to us was alot worse then hitting us she used mental abuse telling me that i wasn't good enough and telling my dad that he should kill himself and all kinds of other stuff. From what i can remember of growing up it was fucked up. now i would like to make something clear i talk real good of my dad and yes he is a good man but he is far from being a saint he has made his own mistakes in life but i will get to that later.
so to move on a little in my life i was 11 or 12 when we got our new house man was its nice the trailer we lived in before was all right but it only had two bedrooms and not that much room. i was so happy when we got it i finally had my own room. when we got it i felt like a new chapter would start in our lives a happier chapter, i felt that my mom and dad would get along. before in our old house they fought all the time. I remember one time when my mother shot out the windows in the house just because my dad said he was sick of my moms shit. so i was hoping for a better life in this new house, and it was for a while my mom seemed to like it my dad had found a good job making good money. so we were doing great, but it didn't last long she went back to nothing being good enough. life went on as it always does things seemed to get worse in stead of better. now i would like to say something about myself here before i get to far into this thing i was not the best kind in the world i was far from and i blamed myself for the longest time for the fights my parents would get into it always seemed that they were fighting about me or something i did but the older i got the more i started to realize that it wasn't all my fault. another thing is i am kind of scatter brained so if i jump back and fourth just bare with me and keep reading I'm sure you will find something you like or don't but hey I'm not perfect.
but anyways on with the story i started doing drugs when i was 12 or so maybe 13. i started out small just smoking pot and just every now and then, and man did that change my life i had finally found the escape from the world i was looking for(now i don't see anything wrong with pot as long as its used in small dose's its been proven) so i started not really caring what went on at home i had found a way to deal with all the bullshit even if it was the wrong way i could deal with it. so life goes on as it always seems to do. then i went to high school and man was that awesome i found people with problems just the same as mine. i learned alot the First year of high school but not what i should have learned. i was introduced to all kinds of new drugs. the world seemed to be looking up for me and man was it great. but its like that song if i only knew what i know now back then when i was younger.
well that's part of my story for now, i will write more. so if you like what you have read so far come back there is so much more i have only begun, and even if you didn't like it so far still come back i am sure you will find something you like.
This story will be continued at a latter time.